


Day Twenty-Seven || Many Pages

by 365daysofsasuhina



Series: 365 Days of SasuHina 2019 [27]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 05:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17574953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/365daysofsasuhina/pseuds/365daysofsasuhina
Summary: They say that writing down your thoughts can help you sort them, and in some cases vanquish them. If that's true...then Uchiha Sasuke is about to write a novel.





	Day Twenty-Seven || Many Pages

The only reaction is a quick, deep breath through his nose, eyes snapping open. Heart pounding in his ribcage, Uchiha Sasuke stares up at the ceiling, mind still lost in a battlefield miles and years away. Muscles are all tightened as he expects a blow to the chest - he can still  _ see _ his own sword in the hand of the enemy. Uchiha Madara was about to stab him in the heart, he was -!

...no. No, he’s not there anymore. He’s here. Home. The war’s long over, Madara long dead...for good, this time. An arm lifts to sling over his eyes, struggling to calm his body down with his mind’s realization. 

He’s safe.

After several deep breaths, he looks over to Hinata, her back turned to him as she curls on her side. Part of him wants to roll over and pull her into his arms...but he knows that will wake her, and he doesn’t want her losing any sleep. Instead, he slips out from under the sheets and makes his way to the kitchen.

Putting on the kettle for a mug of tea, he braces hands against the edge of the counter, staring out the window over the sink. A hip cocks, shuffling trademark pajama sweatpants. He keeps having these  _ damn  _ nightmares...why? It’s been so long, and they’re so random...it’s like there’s nothing he can do about it. And it’s maddening…! Even the occasional talk with his brother’s wife - a medic, like Sakura - hasn’t brought him any relief.

“...Sasuke…?”

His head bows with a sigh. “...I was hoping you’d keep sleeping.”

A hand righting the strap of her nightgown, Hinata steps up beside him, brows wilted in concern. “...another nightmare…?”

His jaw grits.  _ Another one _ . He hates that there’s enough for her to guess. “...yeah.”

“Do you...want to talk about it?”

“It’s one of the same...back when Madara impaled me on my own damn sword.”

Almost like a reflex, Hinata puts an arm around him, hand coming to rest against the bare scar of the exit wound along his back. “I’m sorry...I still see when Pein did the same to me with one of those...a-awful rods. Then I wake up, and the scar starts to ache…”

“...yeah.”

“...I guess the therapy hasn’t been helping, has it…?”

“Not yet, at least.”

The kettle starts to whistle, and Hinata interrupts his efforts and fetches it herself, grabbing a second mug.

“You should go back to bed.”

“If you’re awake, so am I.”

“That’s not -”

Pale eyes give him a glance that make it clear: she won’t hear an argument. So, Sasuke just sighs, a hand running back through his hair as he takes a seat beside her. His wife wastes no time in leaning carefully against his side, holding her mug in both hands to feel the warmth.

“...I dunno what else to do.” Sasuke stares into the jade liquid of the matcha. “...I’m so...scared that one of these days, I won’t wake up fast enough, and I’ll hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me, Sasuke.”

“You can’t know that.”

“...maybe not. But I still trust you.” She heaves a sigh, thinking for a moment. “...was there anything else she suggested…? Any other methods that might help?”

Silence, and then, “...she thought that...writing things down might do something, but...I don’t know. It sounds pointless.”

“Well, maybe it’s worth a try…?” Those damnable doe eyes give him a glance. “...it can’t hurt, at any rate...right?”

“...I guess not.”

“I used to keep a journal when I was young. It would help me feel more...organized in my thoughts. And I could look over them, and better see  _ how _ I thought. Maybe...something like that can help you get things  _ out _ of your head and down onto paper. Help you move past them.”

Sasuke mulls that over in silence, sipping his tea and staring at the table. Would just...writing something down really  _ do _ anything to the memory? How would that even work? “...I’ll give it a try in the morning. For now...I just want to sit up for a bit.”

“All right.”

Eventually he convinces her to go back to bed, promising he’ll join her soon. “I just need a little more time to think. But you need your rest.”

“So do you!”

“If I try to sleep now, I’ll just lie awake. Once I’m groggy, I’ll go back to bed.”

“...oh...all right.”

Once he’s sure Hinata’s back to sleep, Sasuke retreats to his half a mug of tea, staring at it as he contemplates retaking his seat.

...maybe…

Looking to the door to the study, Sasuke considers it a moment...and then makes his way into the room. It’s mostly filled with police documents. Between the pair of them, they’ve quite a collection. But they’re both also quite tidy, and the desk only has a few flyaway papers he’s quick to sort once he flicks on a lamp.

From a drawer he pulls out a sheet of blank paper, and a pen. The tea’s set at the far end of the desk as he slides atop the chair.

...where does he even start?

Several minutes pass in silence before he picks up the instrument, hovering over the page before...starting at the beginning.

Silence save for the scritching of his pen fills the room, the soft light accented by the moon through the window. At first, his pace is rather slow...methodical as he takes time to consider what to write, in what order, to what detail.

But, like a snowball released atop a hill, he starts to gain momentum. One page becomes two. Two become three. At his left they pile up, face down to keep them ordered. Time loses all meaning as the task consumes him, traveling forward through his story from its first days of tragedy until...now.

The sun just begins to peek over the horizon, the pale moonlight giving way to golden rays as he slows to a stop: the last few lines are his worries of his wife, their future, his issues affecting her as well as himself. 

The pen idles...and then lays atop the desk.

Going back over the last several lines, Sasuke hardly even feels fatigued. In fact...he feels... _ lighter _ . As though some lingering exhaustion he could never sleep away has just...faded from view.

With a light flutter of paper, he sets the last one - how many pages did he even write? - atop the pile before straightening it carefully. A turn shows the morning just beginning. Well...so much for getting back to bed. The last few sips of tea remain in the bottom of his mug, forgotten in the rush of his writing.

Elbows come to rest atop the desk, hands holding his brow as mismatched eyes flicker across the wood grain.

“...Sasuke…?”

Knocking softly, Hinata gets no answer, peering in and finding him fast asleep in his chair, arms folded and cheek tucked atop them. Blinking, eyes move to the rather impressive pile of pages beside him.

For a moment, Hinata considers snooping...but quickly dismisses the thought. If he wants her to see them, he’ll share them when he wants. Until then, they’re none of her business.

Instead, she heaves a small sigh, sympathy on her face. She’ll have to tell the rest of the station he’s not feeling well today. Tiptoeing through, she fetches a spare throw blanket, gently draping it over his shoulders and kissing the crown of his head. His pen scribbles a quick note telling him she’ll handle work, and to  _ stay home to rest _ .

With that, she retreats as quietly as she entered, the door closing with a soft click.

**Author's Note:**

> Ohhh golly this is so late OTL Between being in the big city all evening, and then a terribly-timed stomach ache, I'm running SO far behind schedule! But, here it is: better late than never, right?
> 
> This one actually was very...streamlined to write. I kinda just got in a zone and whoosh, there I went! (well, minus the tummy ache break lol) I guess Sasuke wasn't the only one in the mood to write in the wee hours of the morning tonight! Hopefully we can both get some sleep now!
> 
> And on that note, I definitely DO need to call it a night - thanks, as always, for reading!


End file.
